JEWISH JOKES
A jew, a nigger and a redneck were at work together one day when they stumble upon a bottle. One of them opens it and out pops a genie offering to grant them each one wish.
He started with the nigger who promptly responded, "I want a land for me and my people. One where we won't ever be oppressed or looked down on. One where we're in control."
*POOF* he's gone.
The genie turned to the jew and asked what he wanted. "I want the same thing, I want a land for me and my people. One where we won't ever be oppressed or looked down on. One where we're in control."
*POOF* he's gone too.
The genie turns to the redneck to ask what he wanted.
"All the niggers are gone?" asked the redneck.
"Yes" said the genie
"And all the jews are gone?"
"Yes" said the genie
"Hell, give me a diet coke"
Jewish Genie Story
An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a
source of water. It gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He's
crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a
sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards
ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and
discovers that he has a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appears that
there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out
pops a genie.
But this is no ordinary genie. This genie appears to be a Chasidic
rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc.
"Well, kid", says the genie. "You know how it works, you have three wishes."
"I am not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I am not going to trust a Jewish genie!"
What do you have to lose? It looks like you are a goner anyway!"
The
Arab thinks about this for a minuite, and decides that the genie is right.
"OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink."
***POOF***
The Arab finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen.
He is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
"OK, kid, what's your second wish?" "My second wish is that I were rich
beyond my wildest dreams."
***POOF***
The Arab finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare
gold coins and precious gems.
"OK, kid, you have one more wish." "Better
make it a good one!"
After thinking a few minutes, the Arab says: "I wish I
were white and surrounded by beautiful women."
***POOF***
The Arab is turned into a Tampax.
The moral of the story is: If you do business with a Jewish genie there's a string attached.
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